The Highs and Lows of Life in Melbourne

Well the blog is still here, and the lemons are staying by popular demand.

I moved to Australia two years ago. Not the kind of Australia that first springs to mind if Crocodile Dundee was your only point of reference (guilty). I was picturing aggressive crocs, feisty kangaroos, men wielding hunting knives - all accompanied by the gentle hum of a distant didgeridoo. So naturally I chose to live in Melbourne; a safe, metropolitan haven that offers all the comforting qualities of home without a Dundee threat in sight. But recently life has taken a sinister turn, so I found myself weighing up some of the highs and lows of my favourite place.

In 2017 Melbourne was once again ranked the worlds most livable city for the seventh time, second now to Vienna. As well as its accessibility, low crime rates, education, healthcare, there are endless things to do when you’re not in a perpetual state of lockdown (I’ll revisit that later). I’ve been to free comedy nights, jazz nights, clubs, day festivals, zoos, moonlight cinemas, fishing, national parks, gardens, galleries, hidden rooftop bars, beach bars. Melbourne borders Port Philip Bay and has a long and beautiful coastline allowing for regular trips to surf and swim. All this in the 30+ degree summers means you can’t help but feel permanently on holiday.

Look at us having fun!

Need I even mention the ridiculous standard of coffee? Melbourne is renowned for having some of the best coffee in the world. Coffee blending is treated both as a science and a respectable art form and you need a license to make or serve it. You might think it pretentious, but as soon as you taste a professionally crafted Melbourne coffee against Nescafés freeze-dried dirt, it’s easy to swallow your integrity.

Melbourne is also home to many cultures and cuisines from large influxes of migrant populations. Last year I lived in Fitzroy; a suburb well known for it’s vibrant Spanish community, and we had Spanish and Latino themed food festivals literally right on our doorstep. Entire streets across the city are themed with Greek, Italian, Korean, Thai, Chinese food and more. It’s all beautifully authentic and makes for a nice alternative to the local cuisine which consists largely of anything BBQ’d or ‘parmy’d.

The Vietnamese scene tops them all

Sounds great, until the inevitable moment arrives. You’re caught blissfully unaware committing the most minor of offences, and soon find yourself forking out a hefty sum. Melbourne law enforcement love to deal out fines. When I first moved here I drove from South Australia to Victoria for 11 hours straight in a car with an overheating engine and burst tyre (I was the only one who could drive). When we finally arrived at the hostel late at night, I was exhausted and irritable from the most stressful drive of my life. Only to find the next morning that I’d been hit with a $100 fine for parking my car facing the wrong way. What?!? A sneaky free tram ride can cost you $260 if caught, and during lockdown, if you’re found more than 5k from your home with no permit it’s an on-the-spot fine of $1600. Ouch.

I won’t even dwell on the subject of weather, which can be so unpredictable that a normal day could range from a torrential downpour followed by clear blue skies, succeeded closely by gale force winds with the grand finale of a beautiful sunset. Last year the temperature dropped from 44 -> 20 degrees in less than an hour. You learn to be flexible.

Don't be fooled, it's all a lie!

If you follow the news then you’ll be be expecting what's coming next. Despite having some of the lowest COVID numbers worldwide (now averaging 50 cases a day, not deaths) we have just been thrown back into an extended lockdown, no thanks to state premier aptly nicknamed “Dictator Dan”. Like many places we’re seeing an increase in protests and social unrest as business and mental health are on the brink of collapse; the most upsetting being the unprecedented rise in domestic violence and suicide helpline calls. 500 Victorian medical professionals have written and signed an open letter to Dan Andrews advising against this lockdown, claiming its doing more harm than good to the community psyche and economy. It’s like living in a badly made dystopian film with no visible substance and continual repression as the only theme.

Moaning about bureaucracy or the weather feels trivial against this crisis we’re now facing. It’s hard to imagine what normal life was like (what is a pint??) and to stay positive as we watch the world continue on. I am adamant it's still one of the best cities in the world and I’m incredibly lucky to live just a stones throw from the beach - yet as my visa expiry date draws closer, and with nothing to cling to but fond memories, I can only hope for a future with open borders to return once again.